Pause: The Power of Cultivating Space Between Words
“Human freedom involves our capacity to pause, … to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight.” —Rollo May
Knowing what words to use in any given situation is a common element of leadership, but the greatest leaders understand that greater power resides in the space between words. To pause means to suspend activity, whether in thought, speech, or actions, for a temporary amount of time. Pausing can help provide leaders clarity and freedom for discernment and deliberate reflection to evaluate their next course of action.
Mastering the art of the pause can be daunting but eminently possible. Leaders experience the following three situations that can provide an opportunity for them to practice pausing:
Coaching or Mentoring
Coaching and mentoring allow leaders the vastly influential ability to equip others with the skills to become leaders. When guiding mentees on their journeys, allow them opportunities to make the necessary mental connections and process their own thinking. Constantly giving answers makes them passive acceptors of any discoveries. Creating a pause before jumping in with solutions encourages employees to become active discoverers. The intellectual reward of self-discovery has permanent, positive, long-term effects.
Leaders frequently deal with emotionally charged situations. Those can be made more challenging if the leader is also emotionally invested in the situation, courting bias and even danger. Once the brain perceives danger, the hypothalamus sends a signal to release adrenaline and cortisol into the bloodstream, overshadowing logic with a visceral fight-or-flight reaction. When handling emotion, leaders should allow a pause to create a space between themselves and the situation, which shifts energy from adrenaline-infused emotion to logical-based reason. Let the momentary pause become a bridge of breath before lurching back into the situation. Build the bridge with reflection, consideration, and perspective, making choices that will not be doubted later.
If you can breathe calm, you can stay calm.
Leaders have ample opportunities for concentration and deliberation, but many of them neglect to turn inward as self-reflection. Leaders need the chance to evaluate their own performance, to create self-awareness and to order their priorities if they are expected to guide their team to do the same. Successful leadership begins with knowing clearly what is being done and why. Leaders must ensure their actions and priorities are aligned and consistent in order to remain a figure of logical responsible authority. All leaders should pause to check in with themselves. A self-reflective pause can be completed in just a few minutes a day. The trick is finding value from the inward pause, not from how long the pause takes.
The following five example questions may aid in self-reflection:
- If I had the day to do over, what would I have done differently?
- What will I do differently tomorrow than I did today?
- What emotions arose today and why?
- What did I do today to further the success of those I lead?
- What was unclear or ambiguous today? Where am I struggling to make sense of the situation?
The haste at which we operate is in a constant state of progression. Faster. Quicker. Better. But as the world around us forges ahead, we owe it to ourselves, our businesses, and our teams to pause. Pausing gives us the opportunity to slow down to connect, reflect, ask, and understand, enabling us to be better leaders. It may seem we do not have time to pause, but when the rewards of doing so are positive and bountiful, time for pausing can always be found.